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  • Chris

The Wall

The enormity of the last 15 months only caught up with me.

My day was full of excitement. I was getting my first vaccination against this horrible virus that has caused chaos and grief across the globe. It was my first step out of this mess and I was grabbing it with both hands.

The experience itself was brilliant. The process was smooth and clearly well practiced, the teams of NHS colleagues and volunteers were exemplary in the way they did their job. No complaints from me.

Something strange happened to me in the queue. As I was snaking around the Brighton Centre waiting for my turn, what I can only describe as pure emotion hit me like a brick wall. In a split second I was tearful, happy, sad, confused - all at once. It was a state of complete overwhelm.

I'd finally let go. I let go of all of the stress from the last 15 months. The stress of not being able to be with and comfort my Mum when she needs me most. The stress of keeping a business open against all the odds. The stress of having to be strong for everyone around me.

I let it all go in that emotional, tearful moment. I've acknowledged that I've been totally in denial about my experiences in the last year. I've been focussed on so many other people, I've totally neglected myself.

Time for a break, for some reflection and some renewal.

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